#33 - Tips on Moving Past Your Fear

Fear... how is it holding you back right now?  In this week's video, I talk about how our fears often keep us from truly going after what we want.  Click on the video to learn how the move past your fear! https://vimeo.com/227013186

Fear is difficult to conquer.  It's often there to keep us safe, to ensure we don't act reckless or put ourselves in any serious danger.  But too often, we let fear keep us from really moving forward in our lives and asking for what we want!

So when the fear is holding you back, how do you even attempt to move forward?

1) Identify the fear!  What is really holding you back?  I share an example of asking for more flexibility.  What's the fear really about?  Is it that you are worried about getting fired or that you won't be taken seriously?  What is honestly keeping you from having that conversation?

2) Worst Case Scenario.  Alright, so let's play out the worst case scenario.  What would actually happen if they seriously fired you just for asking?  Sounds like a pretty terrible culture to be a part of anyway!  But how would you handle it?  Could you find a new job? (yes!)  Cut back on expenses immediately (most likely!)  Find a new way to generate income (what about posting that extra room on Airbnb?? --Kidding---kind of!)?  Could you handle it if the absolute worst happened?  Yes!  And in reality what is more likely to happen?  In this case, maybe it's that they simply say no.

3) What Could Change!  This is much more fun than preparing for the worst case!  What would be the big tangible benefits that could come out of moving past your fear?  More freedom?  More time with your baby?  Or for yourself?  What would it be like to actually gain more flexibility and how would YOU best use it!  Be specific - just don't say oh I'd get more time... time is great but we all have the same amount of time... focus on what you would DO with that time instead of commuting or going to meaningless meetings!

Watch the video here: https://vimeo.com/227013186

YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

Best,
MB

What fear is holding you back right now?  I'd love to hear from you!

Email marybeth@marybethferrante.com!


P.S. Feeling stuck and not sure what should be the next move?  Schedule a FREE Strategy Session today.


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#31 - Tips on Breastfeeding and Traveling for Work

One of the most important things we do as mothers is feeding our babies, and for many new moms, that means we are breastfeeding.  Our experiences breastfeeding are all across the spectrum but not matter how you feel about it, a trip out of town for work can throw the balance completely out of whack!  So here are three big things to consider if you are traveling for work and breastfeeding.

1) Make accommodations to pump!  Whether you are going to a conference, an event, or will simply be at a new office, it's important to know where you are going to be able to find some privacy to pump.  You don't want to get to the location and be stressed in between meetings trying to find a space!  Talk to an office manager, administrative assistant, event organizer and let your needs known before you arrive!  Most people are super helpful and will find you a place to pump!  

2) How/ Where will you cool your milk?  In addition to where you will be pumping, find out if there is a refrigerator available to store your milk.  If not, bring a cooler with you!  And definitely call the hotel ahead of time and ask for a refrigerator or freezer (even better) to be in your room when you arrive.  

3) Know your options for traveling your milk home!  For anyone who has pumped, and espeically those who have struggled, you know that breastmilk is equivalent to liquid gold!  The last thing you want to do is get through a week long trip of successfully pumping only to struggle to get it home.  You are allowed to travel (at least within the US) with breastmilk on the plane. Check out the latest TSA rules so you are prepared ahead of time! https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/whatcanibring/items/breast-milk .  Or consider shipping your milk!  You'll need to get the right supplies, cooler, ice packs or dry ice and shipping labels but it may end up being less stressful that battling TSA!  There are even companies like https://www.milkstork.com/ that will do all the work for you!  And be sure to check out your employer's policies!  Some will even help with the cost of shipping breast milk!

The key here is planning beforehand.  And while it may be frustrating and time-consuming to figure it out ahead of time, it will make your time traveling for work much easier!


YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

Best,
MB

#30 - Tips on Asking for Flexibility

Flexibility in the workplace.  The benefits are often touted - increases morale, reduces turnover, gives employees more autonomy, improves recruiting.  Seems like an easy solution, yet for many of us, it's not normal in our workplace.  So when it's not readily available, how do we navigate the conversations with our managers and negotiate our own flexibility?

1) ASK.  I know it sounds simple, but the first step is that you do actually have to ASK!  Schedule some time with your manager - this can even be before you return to work from maternity leave.  Let them know that you want to discuss your work schedule ahead of time.  These conversations tend to go better if the other person is not blindsided!  And be specific - do you need to just shift your schedule?  Do you want to work remotely?  What makes sense given the type of work you do?

2) Rethink Accountability.  It's not enough that you tell them it won't impact your work.  Give your manager specifics on how you will remain accountable, how your results will be measured - especially if you are reducing your face time in the office and if any of your goals will shift as a result of changing your schedule.

3) Trial Period!  Personally, I suggest at least a 30-day trial period.  When discussing with your manager, this is an easy way to ask to simply try it out!  With 30 days you give yourself and your manager the ability to get into a new flow with your schedule and usually enough time to measure how your work is impacted (often times you are actually more productive!!).  Keep the conversations open and solicit feedback on how it's going from your managers perspective.  Regularly touch base so you can also use the time to tweak and adjust as needed!


YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

FEEDBACK WANTED!  What are the two things you struggle with most as a working parent or that are you worried about as a soon to be working parent?

Send us your thoughts and feedback as we build Babies.Bosses.Balance, a new virtual community for working (and soon to be) moms.

Best,
MB

P.S. Feeling stuck and not sure what should be the next move?  Schedule a FREE Strategy Session today.


Check out more tips and follow me:
Twitter @LiveworkLead
Instagram @LiveWorkLead
Facebook @marybethferrantecoaching
https://www.facebook.com/marybethferrantecoaching/

www.liveworklead.com

#29 - Tips on Splitting the Mental Load with your Partner

As working moms (and soon to be working moms!), we quickly come to realize that while we can do anything we can not actually do everything.  And while it sometimes may seem to be difficult, asking for help is in fact helpful! (Click here for tips on how to ask for help - http://www.liveworklead.com/top-tips-tuesdays/2017/5/9/24-tips-on-asking-for-help)

But beyond the logistics, what about the planning and the organizing that has to happen BEFORE you can even get into the details of DOING what actually needs to happen.  What do I mean?  It's all the stuff that we keep in our head, the lists of to do's, the groceries we are thinking about adding to our list, the doctor's note we need to get to send to the day care, the clothes that are getting too small and need to be replaced... it adds up!  Feminists are calling this the "Mental Load" and I recently saw this great comic that truly spells this out: https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

So what to do about it?  And how do you get help with the mental load?  

In complete transparency, this is something I seriously STRUGGLE with!!  So this list is just as much a reminder for me as it is for you!

1) Ask your partner to sit down with you and plan the week.  Start to create your list of to do's together.  In the beginning, you'll likely still be the one mostly coming up with this list, but the key to this exercise is to actually get your partner to better understand the mental load you carry.  

2) Split up tasks, but start from the beginning.  It's not enough that your partner agrees to go to the grocery store.  They need to be the one who also assesses what's needed, creates the grocery list, and then actually goes and shops! 

3) Let them do it their way!  Trust me, I can be a bit overbearing and type A, but part of getting my partner to truly help with the mental load means trusting in the way that he does it!   So back to the grocery example, you have to start to be flexible - maybe s/he picks up a different brand or decides on a different vegetable.  Whatever it is, you have to trust that they are executing based on their own assessment of what's needed.  Any when they have to go back to the store to pick up more formula because they didn't have it on the list, you know they'll always remember to check going forward!



YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

New Mom or Mom-to-Be?  For information now, join Babies.Bosses.Balance.  A new virtual group coaching program designed just for you.  

http://www.liveworklead.com/babiesbosses-balance/


Here at Live.Work.Lead. we are on a mission to support women in transition, especially new moms and we are working on building up a new community focused on the professional career women turned professional career working mom!  I'd love your feedback!

What are the two things you struggle with most as a working parent or that are you worried about as a soon to be working parent?

Send us your thoughts and feedback as we build Babies.Bosses.Balance.

Best,
MB

P.S. Feeling stuck and not sure what should be the next move?  Schedule a FREE Strategy Session today.


Check out more tips and follow me:
Twitter @LiveworkLead
Instagram @LiveWorkLead
Facebook @marybethferrantecoaching
https://www.facebook.com/marybethferrantecoaching/

www.liveworklead.com
 

#28 - Tips on the Emotional Side Of Transitioning Back To Work

The year you become a mom is full of so many transitions!  First, you find out you are pregnant (in my case this was a long time in the making), then you find yourself in constant transition as you deal with 9 months of pregnancy, get through labor and delivery to then be thrown into the world of being the mom of a squishy newborn baby.